Posts Tagged ‘support’

These are two things I believe are essential to a couple, but are indispensable in a stepfamily. I have recently realized that I did not have both in my relationship and that may be why things are so difficult.

I won’t go into too many details but I recently found out I have been lied to for many months. The relationship with my man and his ex has always been complicated and difficult for me to grasps. Turns out that to protect this relationship, my man thought that it was better to lie to me, and her basically. Keeping the peace by telling her everything was my fault and keeping the peace with my by playing innoncent.

You can imagine just how awful and duped I feel right now. Honesty is a big thing for me. I’m very expressive with m feelings and thoughts and everyone can know what I think all the time. But apparently, this side of my personality is difficult to deal with. So for the last few months, I have worked at keeping my thoughts to myself, keeping my feelings to myself. It didn’t work. It made me explode even more when I finally couldn’t keep it in.

If my relationship was based on lies, no wonder I got none of the support I needed. I never felt like he understood, like he considered how I felt in all this. I always felt as if he was waiting for me to change, to adapt. Well that’s all done.

I like myself. I am a good person. I am a hard worker. I am intelligent. I think of others and I like taking care of others. I am talkative, sometimes too much, but it means I like to talk to people. I am interested in many things. I am intelligent and love to learn. I am very maternal with my kids but also with my stepson. I like to make sure they are well taken care of. I am a good girlfriend that like to think of her man and what would make him happy. I am a good daughter that will always be there when he parents need her. I am a good friend who can listen and be there for her friends when they need her. I am pretty and I can be sexy. I am passionate in everything, especially love. I am a romatic and a dreamer. I am not a liar, a hypocrite. I say what I think (of course I am diplomatic and don’t do it on purpose to hurt people).

I lost this person for a while. Well that’s over. Back to me now. Back to who I am. I will no longer try to be the person he wants me to be and I will be myself.

Day 1 of back to myself:

I will take care of myself today by taking a walk and exercising. I will also eat a good meal at lunch today, something healthy.

I will continue reading Stepmonster because it makes me feel really good.

I will go to the library to get some new books, because libraries makes me happy

I will finish the laudry for my family because I like doing things for them, not because I feel obligated.

Enough with the pity party. If he decided to lie, it has nothing to do with me but with issues he has. It does not diminish who I am. I will not let it!!!!