If only my man, his ex and everybody around me could be as supportive as this article… things would not be over…

Protecting The Stepmother’s Mental Health

There are over 19 million people walking around depressed today, in America.  A large number of those depressed 19 million people are  mothers.  Many experts and society as a whole, acknowledge the fact that moms are the glue that holds the family together, and are often overworked and overextended. As a matter of fact, they sell t-shirts with a quote that says, “If mama ain’t happy, then nobody’s happy.” Television experts like Dr. Phil and Supernanny, Jo Frost, often encourage moms to take some time for themselves, learn to say NO (without guilt) and not feel bad for occasionally having feelings of dislike toward their children. They express that it’s just the resentment of being pulled in so many different directions that causes those types of feelings, and as a mom you need to set some boundaries in order to have balance. We’ve all heard this before, right moms?

That being said, as I stated in my Super Stepmom Syndrome article, what we don’t see a lot of is the same support for stepmothers. Historically, stepmothers have just been expected to accept any and everything because they chose to marry a man with children, and therefore chose to marry his kids and his ex-wife. It’s something that they shouldn’t complain about and realize that it’s not about them, but the kids who are torn apart by divorce.  We’ve all heard this before, right stepmoms? My question is then why shouldn’t mom be expected to just suck it up? After all, she chose to have children in the first place and it’s supposed to be about the kids, right? Why does she get to complain and then receive sympathy with kids that she chose to create, but stepmom has to just suck it up with kids who are not her own?

According to Linda Nielsen, a professor of psychology and women’s studies at Wake Forest University, stepmothers feel more stress than stepfathers and are overall the most stressed member of the stepfamily. In her research she indicates that 4 factors contribute to this stress: (1) our society’s attitudes about step/mothers and motherhood; (2) the mother’s and stepmother’s personalities, attitudes and circumstances; (3) the father’s attitudes and his relationship with the mother; and (4) the stepchildren’s gender and mental health.

As I stated above, stepmothers are expected to just accept everything without expressing themselves and are often told that they are evil and wicked if they do lose a grip every now and then. They are often battling an intrusive ex-wife as research indicates that ex-wives remain bitter for longer (years after) the divorce and are in fact the most intrusive. Their husband is still dealing with his guilt over the divorce and is often times an overcompensating, disney land dad and refuses to set healthy boundaries for his children and/or his ex-wife. Finally, age and gender definitely play a role in the step-parent/stepchild relationships in the stepfamily. For example, studies show that the stepmother/stepdaughter relationship is the most problematic relationship in the stepfamily, and can contribute to the dissolution of the remarriage and family if not handled properly.

All of the above mentioned and more, as you can imagine, creates a significant amount of stress for the stepmother and has enormous potential to send them to a downward spiral of depression. Being expected to please everyone without being able to express how you feel is an unrealistic and totally unfair expectation to place on ANYONE! Stepmothers need to have their role acknowledged and supported if we are to work at decreasing the alarming rate of second divorces in America. She can’t be expected to walk on eggshells, especially in her own home, just to pacify everyone else.  It will only leave her feeling totally isolated, resentful and depressed, just like those mothers that I mentioned above. The stepmother needs support, too; support from her husband; support from her friends and family and support from society as a whole!

I realize that everyone in the stepfamily has their challenges and own crosses to bear; however, the stepmother receives less support and understanding than ANYONE in the stepfamily and that just has to change.  Everyone else is allowed to act out and freely express themselves without judgment, because society has more sympathy for them, and historically, stepmoms have been deemed as wicked. We sympathize with dad because he doesn’t get to see his children as often. We sympathize with the kids because they’ve just experienced the loss of their family. We sympathize with ex-wife because she is just trying to “protect” her children.  We then we dump all of those emotions, responsibility and aftermath of a divorce that she didn’t create, mind you, on the stepmother and say, “now you deal with it and you better do it all with a smile. There’s no wonder that so many stepmoms are reaching for antidepressants and anxiety medication. And we wonder why so many are just angry all the time.

Hopefully, with stepmoms like Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster, and myself included,  speaking out and encouraging other stepmothers to do the same, things will slowly but surely begin to change. Stepmothers should feel free to say NO, just as we encourage mothers to do, without guilt or fear of being labeled as wicked. It must be understood that these women feel overwhelmed as well. It must be understood that unrealistic demands should not be placed on them. It must be understood, by husbands, that they need YOU to step up and be the partner that they married. It must be understood that these are women with feelings, and although they may not have directly experienced the divorce with you, they often times have to deal with the aftermath, and they need some support and understanding, too! They deserve to have a voice and a right to be heard in the stepfamily.

Stepmothers, I am once again encouraging you to aim for balance in your stepfamily life. You do not have to be everything to everyone, heal everyone’s pain and/or be everyone’s punching bag in order to be a good stepmother. You shouldn’t be expected or allow yourself to sacrifice your own mental health for the sake of everyone else’s. Below are ways in which you can protect your sanity and still be a good stepmother.

1. Learn to say NO! If it’s your husband’s weekend to have his kids, but you both know he’s going to be at work all weekend, it’s okay to express that you need a break and would like for your husband to choose another weekend. His ex-wife should understand that the primary reason for establishing visitation is so that they kids can spend time with their dad and not you. You are not bound by the visitation order, so if you need a moment, request it and then take it – WITHOUT GUILT!
2. Create a co-parenting plan with your husband regarding household rules and consequences, which you both agree on, and then stick to it. Children shouldn’t be allowed to use the divorce as a lifelong crutch. Allowing them to avoid rules and responsibility because YOU feel guilty as a parent is not parenting and only creates more problems for the child and the stepfamily.  Co-parenting plans help avoid conflict with the kids and your husband regarding discipline, and help you and your spouse create and present a more unified front. It also helps to re-create some normalcy in their lives again.
3. Constantly work on building and maintaining couple strength. Schedule date nights with your husband. Marriage is work and you have to work hard at remaining connected, especially in the stepfamily. During these times, make it a rule that you will not discuss ex-spouses, kids, stepkids or drama. Date night is a DRAMA FREE ZONE!
4. Learn to let some things go. Remember that you don’t have to be involved in every single aspect of your stepchildren’s lives.  For example, it’s okay to let mom and dad attend the parent teacher conference. It really isn’t necessary for you to be there. Instead of seeing it as some sort of slap in the face because you help with homework, too, use this time to either have some alone time with your own children or get your nails done, if you don’t have any children of your own.
5. Accept the fact that you don’t need to be perfect. You’ll be surprised at how relieved you feel when you have more realistic expectations of yourself than what is imposed on you by public opinion.
6. Realize and accept that you WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE! Your primary focus should be on your immediate family. No matter what some say, you did not marry your husband, his kids AND his ex-wife, and suggesting this is only implying that it is your job to keep them ALL happy – NOT. You married your husband and you are the ones who have to build a solid team in order to raise your children and live happily ever after. If ex-wife doesn’t like it – TOUGH. There are two people in our marriage, not three or four. I’ve never seen a husband, wife and ex-wife rocking on their front porch when they are 80 years old. Ex-spouses are co-parenting partners, but they are not and shouldn’t be allowed to be participants in your marriage.
7. Finally, if you feel you are depressed seek the help of a medical doctor and then call a stepfamily counselor to help get you back on track to getting some balance back in your life again. It’s okay to ask for help!

My mother always told me that how you start out in any relationship is often times how you’ll end up. If you allow someone to walk all over you from the very beginning then that will be their expectation of you. She has always encouraged me to set my own boundaries and expectations of myself and others. So stepmothers, don’t start off allowing your husband, his kids or the ex-wife to think that you are going to be their punching bag. Setting boundaries for yourself and others is not wicked. As a matter of fact, it’s encouraged and expected in order for everyone to have some sort of peace of mind. And if an ex-wife or a husband has a problem with it, they are the ones who need to be examined, not you! The stepfamily can work and thrive, but the adults have to first have the same goal and be supported in their roles, even the stepmother.

As I try to figure out how to rebuild my life I have come to a realisation. I’m exhausted because I keep trying to teach others to change. I keep hoping and wishing that others will get it, that they will treat me the way I want to be treated. It never happens and that creates resentment, pain and sadness. As read more and more books and keep on with my therapy and I have realised that this method has never worked for me. I have therefore set two new goals for myself:

I will stop doing things for others, hoping to get recognition or appreciation. I will evaluate the things I do and ask myself if Iwant to this for the other person because it makes me happy or because I feel like I need to. This sense of obligation just makes me resentful when it is not recognized or appreciated. This one will not be an easy one to apply because saying no is difficult. I like helping others and most of the time, it makes me feel happy to do it. But if my actions stem from some kind of feeling of obligation, if I feel like I have no choice, if guilt or fear of hurting the other person by saying no is what drives me, it will only create resentment. I’m happy to help a friend move, I’m happy to do the laundry for my family because I love them. I don’t feel resentful and I don’ t get angry for doing it. It does not create a buildup of resentment that will later on explode. But I will learn to say no. I will not put my life aside and make myself miserable just because I want to please others… alright, I know, easier said than done. But it’s a start!

I will teach others how to treat me. I have, for too long reacted in the same way. I get angry, voice my emotions, hurt the people around me when my tyrade, but in the end, I give up and do what people want. I have therefore taught people that it is most of the time, scary to ask me something but that if they wait it out, I’ll give in. This of course are for things that have an impact on me. I’m not talking about asking for a glass of water here! It is asking for a sacrifice, for me to put something I love or like aside for the benefit of somebody else. This is the way I fight with my man as well. It does not lead to a compromise, it leads to him being afraid to talk to me and me feeling like crap after blowing up and giving in. Then comes the resentment because I feel cheated even though I’m the one who gave in and the next time I am asked something, it blows up. I will therefore respect myself. I’ll take a time out when something is requested and see how I feel about it. I will decide of an option that is best for me and I will trust that my man loves me enough to either find a compromise that fits both his needs and mine or will respect how I feel. I will also trust that he will still love me, even though I am not doing exactly what he wants.

All of this is not as clear as I would like it to be. But basically it means respecting myself so that I teach others to respect me. I have to start somewhere and the only person I can really work on is myself!

Queen Victoria was reported to suffer from depression for over 40 years after the death of her husband Prince Albert.

Winston Churchill suffered from bouts of depression and was extremely sensitive to stress.

Edgar Allan Poe suffered from bipolar depression. So was Vincent Van Gogh.

Sylvia Plath also suffered a major depression in her life.

Alrighty, I’ll try this one. But I’ll try to be the wise woman, because right now, I’m still fluttering between stages one and two according to this article.

I apologize for everything all the time, at other times I feel so mad that I refuse to apologize. Let’s see if this helps my anxiety!

Health Benefits of a Sincere Apology

We all know the feeling. You gossiped and the person found out. You helped yourself to something that wasn’t yours (such as someone’s spouse). You stole. You lied. You read your child’s diary. It never sits quite right — you toss, you turn in bed, you have that sinking feeling in your chest, you eat, you drink too much, you get headaches.

Carol Orsborn, PhD, a research associate at UCLA and author of 15 books including Nothing Left Unsaid: Words to Help You and Your Loved Ones Through the Hardest Times and The Silver Pearl: Our Generation’s Journey to Wisdom, tells WebMD about a woman she met while writing the latter book.

Barbara, age 50, was going through a divorce and her brother was her mainstay, talking her through lonely nights on the phone. Then she met the man of her dreams and moved away. She got so swept up in her new life, she put her brother on the backburner. She missed his birthday.

That’s when the sleepless nights began. She was embarrassed to even call. She knew he would be hurt — but would he be angry? Eventually, she picked up the phone. Yes, he was hurt, but he said he understood. She started sleeping again — and talking to her brother.

Orsborn surveyed 100 women in the baby boomer group for The Silver Pearl. “These were women who were role models with a positive attitude, whether or not they had any money,” she says.

A key characteristic was their ability and willingness to clear up unfinished business, she notes.

 http://women.webmd.com/guide/health-benefits-of-sincere-apology?ecd=wnl_wmh_112309

People still don’t understand what depression is like. Don’t they watch the news? Aren’t we all shocked when someone famous commits suicide? They seemed happy, they had money and fame and yet they were hiding the painful truth: things are tough and nobody noticed! I’m not saying this is the case of this lady. She may be using the system to her advantage. We won’t really know. Only she does, and her doctor and maybe, if she’s lucky, her family and friends. It just goes to show that having depression is still something people don’t get. It’s still something you have to prove to everyone.

I have days where I’m happy. Days where I can do my grocery shopping. Does that mean I’m reading to go back to teaching full time? Am I the best person to take care of 180 teenagers? I truly doubt it. Half the time I fell like I’m not taking care of the people around me, let alone myself. Scary Scary… But does that mean I have to write that I’m depressed on my Facebook page every day? Does it mean I have to take pictures of myself when I can’t sleep, eat or function? When I hit rock bottom, should I ask for help or should I post pictures of it online to prove myself?

so frustrating!

Read on to find out what I’m talking about:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/11/20/woman-loses-sick-leave-benefits-for-depression-thanks-to-facebook-pics/

I was having coffee with friends yesterday and we were wondering just when we act selfishly and when we respect ourselves. With the holidays coming up, all three of us are stuck with too many people to see and not enough time to see them all.

Saying no to your in-laws for a Christmas supper will automatically be seen as selfish.  But saying no to your own parents will have the same effect. So what is the right decision? If the person decides to spend the holidays with her boyfriend, is this person selfish? Just when are we selfish?

It seems that people automatically label you selfish when you don’t do what they want or expect you to do. Saying no is a tough thing for me. I’m always afraid that the person will be hurt. I end up doing a lot of stuff I don’t want to do just because I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. But am I respecting myself when I do that? I’m not putting myself first in many situations. This has caused a lot of frustration. I wait and hope that people will realise that I don’t want or feel comfortable doing something and will tell me it’s ok not to do it. I think this is one of my biggest problems and what is creating the most stress in my life. Trying to please everybody.

The problem is, once I start voicing what I want, won’t I be selfish. Isn’t it unselfish to do things for other people? And just when does doing things for other people become abuse? When is it too much of them to ask?

So many questions this morning, I think I’ll return to my coffee and ponder on this one a little while longer. If I figure out a way to refuse a request and not feel selfish, I’ll come back and tell

New evidence that dark chocolate helps ease emotional stress

The “chocolate cure” for emotional stress is getting new support from a clinical trial published online in ACS’ Journal of Proteome Research. It found that eating about an ounce and a half of dark chocolate a day for two weeks reduced levels of stress hormones in the bodies of people feeling highly stressed. Everyone’s favorite treat also partially corrected other stress-related biochemical imbalances.

Sunil Kochhar and colleagues note growing scientific evidence that antioxidants and other beneficial substances in dark chocolate may reduce risk factors for heart disease and other physical conditions. Studies also suggest that chocolate may ease emotional stress. Until now, however, there was little evidence from research in humans on exactly how chocolate might have those stress-busting effects.

In the study, scientists identified reductions in stress hormones and other stress-related biochemical changes in volunteers who rated themselves as highly stressed and ate dark chocolate for two weeks. “The study provides strong evidence that a daily consumption of 40 grams [1.4 ounces] during a period of 2 weeks is sufficient to modify the metabolism of healthy human volunteers,” the scientists say.

http://www.breakthroughdigest.com/medical-news/new-evidence-that-dark-chocolate-helps-ease-emotional-stress/

The toughest thing right now in trying to find help is to repeat my story each and every time! Last year I used up the 4 sessions my employer offered and told my story. By the time I was done, the sessions were over. Then this year, I decided to try and get help and use those 4 sessions again… and it was the same story. I had to stop because it was too expensive to continue. I then gave my name at this free clinic and after a few weeks, they called. On the phone, I was asked to tell my story and then I met with a therapist and told my story again. I had to tell my story to my doctor and then tell it again to my employer’s doctor. Now this doctor wants me to see another doctor and the same things will happen again. I’m so tired of telling my story but never actually benefiting from it. Never actually getting help.

I raised my daughter on my own, went back to school and finished my degree. I had to deal with a very tight budget and work part-time as well. When I finally finished my studies I was elated. Finally, life was going to be easier. I found a teaching job at a private college and worked hours and hours. Between work and taking care of my daughter, there was not time for any other kind of life. But I kept on going. I registered for more classes so that my paycheck could increase due to my scholarity. I found part-time work. Tutored children and worked for a publishing company. I longed for another kind of life but still kept on going. I would spend my evenings alone, crying, sometimes drinking too much.

When I met men, there was always something with me or the fact that I had a daughter that made them leave. One of them, with whom I thought I was actually starting a relationship actually said to me that he wished ” he could meet someone like me, but with no kids” and I realised I was not the one, once again. My relationship with my dad, my mom and my brother had ups and downs. Everything seemed difficult. Work was getting harder and I was so tired. I thought of going to my doctor’s and asking for help but then, an opportunity opened up. I was asked to participate in a publishing project that meant a year off from work, working from home. That was just what I needed.

I enjoyed those first few months at home. My daughter came home from school for lunch and we actually had time together. But the checks were just not coming in and I had to find a part-time job to pay the bills. Things were not so bad, because I had met an incredible guy.

So here it is, here’s my story. Maybe next time I can tell them to go read this blog and call me back when they know what to do!

My parents divorced when I was 10 years old. The divorce had a big impact on me and I think I’m still not over the effects. My teenage years were a succession of ups and downs. Fighting with my mother and father, crying, feeling bad about myself and getting myself into all sorts of trouble. Mostly relationship trouble. Every guy I met either treated me like crap, cheated on me, or simply even refuse to tell others they were involved with me. And I let them. I went to college, worked part time from the age of 15 while going to school and met more men who I let treat me like crap. I was even in love with a married man for a while… and he picked another mistress, not even his wife!

Then I moved on to university. I moved at as early as I could. I wanted to have a home so badly. But that first home was a series of fights with roomates and partying way too much. Lots of saddness and grief over failed relationships. I also worked part-time during my studies and at some point my body gave out. I had mononucelosis and had to move back home to rest. I quick school and went to work full time.

That’s when I met my daughter’s father. It was a bad relationship from the start. He was still involved with his ex and other girls and I went on accepting this, hoping it would change. Hoping he would pick me and things would be better after that. Our arguments were always loud and awful. It turned first to verbal violence and then to physical violence. And I accepted this. I let it happen. I then got pregnant with my daughter, all this while working at a really bad job that I hated where my boss was also verbally and even, in the end, physically abusive to me. The relationship ended when my ex got violent with me while I was pregnant. That seemed to give me the push I needed to leave. I wanted to protect my child. She was more important than anything. But yet, I never did it for myself, again for somebody else.

I moved out and raised my daughter on my own. I decided to go back to school to finish my studies so that we would have a better quality of life. I went to school, worked part-time as a tutor and as a replacement teacher. I was tired but I kept on going because things would be easier soon. Budgeting was a big things because money was really tight, but it would get better. When I finished my studies, I found a job working at a private college and I thought I was finally going to have a great life. I worked hard at this job and between taking care of my daughter and working, there wasn’t much time top to sit around and feel sorry for myself.

Things with my dad, my mom and my brother were up and downs. We had fights, dissagreements and I even stopped talking to my dad. Money was still tight and found part-time contract to make ends meet. I also kept on with my studies to try and get my salary to increase. Most nights, I would go to bed crying. My poor daughter was stuck with a mother who would lie on the couch for hours, feeling sorry for herself, or an impatient mother who yelled at her. I felt like I was ruining her childhood.

I met some guys but nothing ever seemed to work out. There was always something wrong with me. A lot of them blamed the fact that I had a kid and one guy, who I thought I was moving foward with, even told me that he wished he could find someone like me to be with, but without a kid. Every time, I cried, I was dissapointed and I got over it, getting angry at the unfairness of it all. I thought of going to the doctor’s for help at one point. The job was not what I hoped it would be and I was so tired. But then, I had the opportunity to work from home for the publishing company. My prayers were answered. I would have more time, more freedom!

The first few months were great. I had time to have lunch with my daughter and work in the afternoons. But the checks did not come in as fast as I thought they would. So, I found a part-time job… and that took care of my freedom. During that time, one thing did cheer me up. I went for supper with a guy I had briefly dated years before. We clicked instantly and he was so great. He made me dream of a better life. I was and still am, so in love with him.

But his situation with his ex was complicated. Nothing was clear… He left for New York with her for the weekend, for work and I saw myself in the same pattern as before: being the understanding girlfriend… the one who never gets picked. I tried to get over it and focus on all the great things he brought he my life. He helped me see new things, he was a great father, a great stepfather to my daughter… and we decided to move in together. The project with the publishing company was over and I decided to try and change my workplace to see if that would help me become happier.

It didn’t. Things at home were tense. We fought all the time. Work was so demanding and so, I crashed, litterally. I fell to the floor of the secretary’s office at the school one morning. That’s when I went to the doctor’s. She told me I had something called depression and gave me medication. Since then, I’ve tried to get help but have yet to find it. I’m still looking.

So, in a nutshell, that’s my story!

I find this question very difficult. Medication has helped me so far in recovering sleep. Other than that, I’m not quite sure what the effect is. I’m also a little at a loss because I don’t quite understand where depression comes from. I’m not quite sure the medical community knows either. It’s genetic or not, related to fast food or social circumstances? I found this article this morning where the author argues that medication is not the only answer. I totally agree with him. What makes everything difficult though, is not only finding the right therapist to fix your issues but actually finding the money to pay the said therapist…

I’m reading this little book I got at the library that offers 60 suggestions to get out of depression (see the I am reading on the side of the page for the book). I wasn’t sure I was even going to finish the book because it starts by explaining how most of us are not actually suffering from depression but are simply a little depressed. I hate that. There is a big difference between feeling awful because your boyfriend left you and mopping around for a week and feeling actually depressed. In the first case, you feel miserable but improve each day. In the second case, you only get worse without actual help.

I decided to give the book a chance because it actually gave suggestions instead of the eternal what is depression that other books offered. Some of the suggestions are actually not bad, but some are just ridiculous. I wonder if I’m just too negative and not out of this depressive mood enough yet to see these things as solutions. Maybe I’m just not open-minded. Here are some of the solutions I’ve read so far… with some comments from my part of course… you tell me. Actual solutions or just ridiculous advice?

Solution #2: Figuring out whether it’s depression or just feeling blue.

• That one actually makes sense. But I believe that once you have decided to actually see a doctor and tell them how depressed you feel. Once you have cried in front of them and told them you actually considered committing suicide to get away from all the pain… the answer is pretty clear.

Solution #4: You’re not perfect and that’s a good thing.

• That one I really liked. I don’t know about other people but I think that people who get depressed put themselves under so much pressure to be perfect, to be the image or the person that they believe other people expect that at one point they crash. What this book said was that the myth of perfection is dangerous. It is much better to learn to accept our faults, accept our limits, and accept that things may go wrong from time to time. It also said that people who are too perfect annoy other people! I thought that was very funny! People who are too perfect get on people’s nerves… I tend to agree with that!

Solution #5: Focus on your positive achievements.

• That one is a good one but tough to actually accomplish when you are depressed. The thoughts in your hear are rarely motivational. You finished the laundry, it’s a good thing is not what will come to mind when you go to bed at night but rather, all the stuff that did not get done. I’m working really hard on that solution. I agree with it… it’s just not easy to actually do it!

Solution #8: Express your emotions

• Not a lot to say on that one. My emotions are very expressed right now… a little too much and too scattered. I need to control my emotions rather than express them…

Solution #9: Learn to say no

• Forget that one. I’m not able to say no to anyone without feeling so guilty… It’s a good solution… they just don’t say anywhere in the book how to actually apply that. I can say the word. I know it consists of only one syllable and two tiny little letters. It’s easy to form the words… it just never seems to come out when I’m faced with family or relationship issues… and don’t even get me started about work.

Solution #12: Get away from toxic people

• But what exactly is a toxic person. Anyone who does not make my life happier is out? What if today, my friend gets on my nerves… out, out, out? And what about the ex you have to deal with because of the kids? How do people kick this person out? And what about family members? Do you just stay in your corner and stay by yourself?

Solution #13: Make peace with your sleep

• What the heck does that mean? Accept that sometimes we just can’t sleep and that it does not mean depression. I so disagree with that one. Not being able to sleep like I have makes it very difficult to apply any of the other solutions. Ok, just because you have not been able to sleep last night does not mean you have depression. But if it goes on for months… can you really ignore it and think this is how your sleep pattern is. When you wake up each morning and never feel rested, when you feel lightheaded during the day or sick to your stomach from fatigue… it think it makes it pretty darn hard not to feel bad.

Solution #14: Ladies, fix yourselves up

• That was the last one I read last night and I was just insulted. They mention that if we fix ourselves up and maybe buy a new shade lipstick we will feel better. Are they kidding! The last thing I need, first of all, is to spend money I don’t even have and generate more stress. And isn’t that so materialistic. Yeah, I admit, it feels good when I look good but does that make my depression go away???

That’s it for now! I’ll keep reading and will post the next interesting tips in my next entry!