My parents divorced when I was 10 years old. I am still today affected by this and I believe that I will always be. I don’t blame my parents for getting divorced. I was much better for me to live in two different households that to live with parents who disrespected each other and fought all the time. I do however, blame my dad for his attitude towards me in the whole thing.

My dad has always seemed more at ease with my brother. It was as if he did not know what to do with a girl. But that was not excuse for the way he made me feel left out. I felt, all my life, that I was not good enough for him. No matter what my choices were, they would be wrong. His harsh words resonate in my head every single day. He not only made me feel unworthy, he told me so. He was never interested in what I was doing and his dissapointment in me goes even beyond my attitude, my life choices… he even thinks I’m not good looking enough. My dad has always said that he dreamed of the day I would be older, a tall blond girl that he could walk next to and have people think was his girlfriend. Well, turns out I’m short with brown hair. I’m not ugly but I’m not the babe he was looking for.

Right now, I am working out those feelings. I have to let go of all that anger and resentment towards him. I need to let his words leave my head. I don’t know how I will accomplish this but I’m working that out. I think it is the first step for me to hopefully be happy one day!