Archive for November 1st, 2009

Why is it that some people are destined to be the First Lady and others are just second best. I want to be the one winning the gold medal, because who remembers the one who won the silver medal… I sure don’t! They don’t get the glory, the fame, the million dollar contracts etc. They get to stand there next to the gold medalist on the podium.

This is how I feel about life. I’ve never been the first lady. I’m the difficult one, the cute one, the nice one, but never the First Lady. I’m never the one. Whether it be in my family or my personal life I’m never IT. I’m the in-between girl. I’m the bridesmaid, never the bride. That’s why I get so angry at life. This is why I’m depressed. The unfairness of life has killed my spirit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m loved. People are actually nice to me. But I’ve always wanted to be loved for what I think I am worth. But others always ask me to be patient, understanding. The good sister, the good daughter, the good girlfriend who understands how difficult it is for everyone else and will be nice. But my needs, my wants… they are rarely put first.

So, I’ve basically given up quite a few years ago. I stopped putting myself first. I still have those moments of frustration where I wish I was Cinderella, but I’m the ugly stepsister… as I said. … always a bridesmaid, never a bride. I’m not the one people pine after, I’m the one they settle with because it’s comfortable. I’ll be nice, patient…

But I’ll never be the First Lady…